Monday, April 12, 2010

Monster House (Movie Review)

I realize this isn't a book review, but I saw the end of this movie yesterday and I find myself simply compelled to write something about it.


(I'm not kidding, spoiler warning, I go into specifics of the storyline and the ending)


I have to say, this movie is not for kids! I understand that 'kids these days' are more mature and possibly can handle this kind of horror better, but this story line was just not appropriate!

By the time I start watching the movie, the 2 kids are already trying to 'put to sleep' this house, which is apparently tormenting the neighborhood by stealing toys and tricycles and things from children as they pass by. As you can imagine, the house does not take this lying down and there's scary wooden teeth things, pipes that suck children away, and then all of sudden rising water that almost drowns the 3 of them while pushing them out of the house.

This was all scary enough, but still seemed in the realm of possibility for a kids movie. What really bothered me was the story line behind why the house acted like this. The owner of the house, Mr. Nebbercracker as a youth visits this traveling side show and falls in love with the Giantess. Apparently the Giantess has been kept captive by this show, tormented by the visitors, until Mr. Nebbercracker steals her away to marry. He buys her a plot of line, promises to build them a house and take care of her - at least until the worst happens.

One Halloween a few kids, being as thoughtless cruel as some kids can be, come by and start throwing eggs at the house and she just get's infuriated at the injustice of it. But when she tries to go after the kids Mr. Nebbercracker stops her - or at least he tries to. She knocks him down, loses her balance, stumbles backward, hits the cement machine, and falls backward into the newly dug basement of the house and gets covered by the cement that falls in afterward (crazy right?). Well Mr. Nebbercracker decides to finish building their dream house, though as he says 'Constance never left', instead remaining, embodying this house and tormenting the neighborhood.

Now does any part of what I've just described sound like a kids movie? HELL NO!

From here on out the movie focuses on all of them, the kids and Mr. Nebbercracker, coming together to try and destroy this house - to let Constance free. It's filled with action and some pretty neat affects, but this is just too heavy to be part of kids movie shown at 3 in the afternoon on Cartoon Network! I would not let my kids watch this! Like it just seems completely ridiculous to me that this movie is marketing towards an age group that is not prepared to handle content of this nature. It's just mind boggling to me.

I realize that this is a ridiculous rant and I probably have no idea what I'm talking about, but I'm just putting it out there that movies for kids were better when I was a kid. They managed to be appropriate while still being fun and adventurous. Where did that go?